There are three distinct stages of shock that can be experienced by the modern gentleman, as can be illustrated via a retelling of my lunchtime walk around the village whilst sporting my finest walking pants and cane.
Stage 1: Mild Shock
In this instance caused by the sight of front seat, vehicular shenanigans in the lay by opposite the local brewery. Symptoms may include blushing of the checks and slight trouser discomforture.
Stage 2: Breath-taking shock
Experienced myself upon hearing the cost of such roadside assistance, after taping on the vehicle window with my cane and enquiring politely of the lady within. I almost dropped my monocle!
Stage 3: Apoplexy
The swoon, or dead-feint. Experienced myself upon realising I’d left my wallet at home.
The moral of this tale: never leave home without your wallet!